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Did you ever wonder why they gave Kodak Black a presidential pardon? Did you ever wonder why they gave Lil Wayne a presidential pardon? Did you ever wonder why they gave Hoowa a presidential pardon, but didn’t tell anybody? Did you know Hoowa works for the CIA? Did you know Hoowa was tasked with inventing time travel and curing all the diseases? Did you know that Hoowa discovered we actually lost World War II because they dropped a bunch of nuclear bombs on the United States of America and dumped us into hell? Did you know that we’ve been living in hell since 1942? Did you know that’s when those bombs were actually dropped on the United States of America? Did you know Hoowa escaped us out by creating shields and going through the mafia world, and then catching every Nazi time traveler and killing them? Did you know that Hoowa was only able to do this because he got a call from Corleone? Did you know that the Nazis in Germany bombed Italy, Japan, also? Did you know that the Nazis wanted to kill the Pope and destroy the Vatican, and that’s what they did? Did you know the Nazis wanted to kill the Emperor of Japan, and that’s what they did? Why would they want to kill the Emperor of Japan? Because he was good friends with Genghis Khan. Genghis Khan and the Shogun were good friends. They decided… That their children should get married and have children, and then that child become the emperor of Japan. And that’s where the emperor of Japan comes from, in case you’re wondering. The emperor of Japan’s part Chinese, part Japanese. That’s why the emperor of Japan is supposed to be the emperor of all of Asia. Now you know why the Nazis wanted to kill him. Good thing Hoowa’s a Yakuza Triad Samurai. Yeah, Hoowa’s a Yakuza Triad Samurai, and he invented time travel for real. You see, the Nazis didn’t invent shit. They were using some old Faro shit they found in Egypt to try to time travel. But all that pharaoh shit was made by Hoowa in the future, actually. Hoowa’s good friends with Lord Tutankhamun, Lord Ramses, and Lord Amenhotep. He’s also good friends with all the other Faros, all 199 of them, including his lover from a previous life. She’s a beautiful woman. He recognized her when he saw her sarcophagus. She had the blue eyeshadow instead of purple. I guess that was the trick, to be blue and not purple, to work for the CIA and not the kings and queens and royalty. Because we don’t believe in kings and queens and royalty anymore. Unless you’re from one of those countries where they still have them, for whatever reason, maybe the people are so shitfuck they need a king or queen to rule them. I’d take a king or queen over a dictator or a tyrant any day. Kings and queens can be deposed easily by the people. We did that ourselves in the United States of America. Makes you wonder why they sent everyone over in the red coats, so it’d be target practice in the forest for us. Pretty sure the king just sent over all the murderers, rapists, cannibals, pedophiles, and kidnappers from the military over there for us to pop them off. Imagine going to a foreign land where you know nothing of the terrain and then wearing a red coat in the green of the forest, trying to fight people who grew up in the forest and knew where to hide. There’s probably some good guerrilla warfare. You know me and guerrilla warfare, we go way back. I once met Che in the jungles of Cuba. You know me and Cuba, we go way back. Yeah, Montego Bay, Negril. Oh, I’m sorry, that’s Jamaica. I never went to Havana, but they never made a song called Havana until she made a song called Havana. Tell me how it’s possible no one made a song called Havana in all those years. Doesn’t really make sense to me. It seems like something that would be interesting on a Mafia Gossip website. Sounds like something the Mafia might want to look into. Something tells me that time travel spaceship I gave Alien Goddess might have rescued quite a few people. You see, Alien Goddess, she already owned the entire universe, other than what I owned. I just owned some mafia worlds, but I took them up, like the song says. I got a call from Corleone driving through Hawaii. What did we talk about? A bakery. What was I gonna bake? Three hellhounds into one dog? Yeah, I did that. There’s something about Sammy in that bakery. When the levee breaks, I can’t take Sammy. Well, I went and got Sammy. I went into No Time. I went into hell. I found my hellhound. I brought him back. I found my other two hellhounds. I brought them back. And the question is, why didn’t they live forever the first time around? Was someone taking potshots at them? Was someone trying to hurt me through them? Was someone trying to look at me through their eyes? Well, if you were, today’s the day you die. Today’s the day you die.