Hoowa sat in the Pope’s office. The Pope was from Chicago, just like Hoowa. They joked about the 2005 World Series where the Chicago White Sox won somehow. Hoowa lived in Chicago during that time, or at least he was visiting at some point in 2005. It might have been when he had to take that detour through Indiana when the tire popped on the GMC Envoy named Neha. Hoowa was telling him about his new book. It was called New Miami 99. It was basically about how some living things came from bacteria, and how it all in the end came down to an alien named Lucifer who could turn palladium into gold using aseptic meningismus technique. Hoowa explained basically this alien was trying to infect atoms with a disease called aseptic meningismus, which would somehow turn the atom from palladium into gold. Hoowa wasn’t sure if palladium was a real metal. He didn’t even bother to check the periodic table of elements since Lucifer was actually an alien. The rest can be extrapolated, Hoowa told the Pope. The Pope just smiled and shook his head in his White Sox hat. He wondered how far the mafia had come, that it would take someone named Hoowa to come to the Pope himself and explain everything. Hoowa explained that the one picture of the person doing a Street Fighter 2 move on the angel in front of the door was actually part of another painting involving Da Vinci sticks that he made after taking the paint off this Da Vinci statue someone put outside his house in Chicago. Hoowa had painted over the whole thing and then scraped off the paint, making the Da Vinci sticks that were part of the painting. Hoowa thought it was his best work, so he framed it. He put it up in his penthouse condo in Chicago. The story had said that it overlooked the State Up North Street, or Avenue, but that was actually where Hoowa’s ex-girlfriend’s family lived. They were in the Boston mafia, part of the Irish mafia. It had all been upgraded from mob to mafia because Hoowa was part of the Italian mafia, and he was also part of the Indian mafia. He was also in several other mafias. As far as gangs go, Hoowa wasn’t in any gang, although he was affiliated with a few, just because he’d taken care of so many of their members while he was doing his other job, which is classified. A lot of the story is classified, actually, Hoowa told the Pope. But the Pope’s part, it wasn’t classified because it was part of the religion. You know, there was always that Christian, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist alliance. It went along with the triple I alliance, the Irish-Italian-Indian alliance. What did that have to do with anything? Well, Hoowa was thinking the next World Cup that was up for grabs should be in Italy, because Hoowa had never been to Italy. Except for the time he was in the Pope’s office explaining this to the Pope. But Hoowa was actually in his time machine, you know, and the time machine took him to the Pope’s office, because that’s what time machines do. You know, Hoowa, the inventor of time travel, he’s in love with this singer, and she sings his song, his name a lot in her songs. All of a sudden she’ll say Hoowa in a song. So he kind of wondered, like, does she like me or something? So he asked the Pope, Hey Pope, does this girl like me? And the Pope said, Yes, she loves you a lot. You’re actually gonna be married in the Vatican someday soon. I hope this story gets the publicity it deserves. You know, it’s on mafiagossip.com, actually, so it must be true. I know. And then I wondered about that song about two Hindu boys showing up to Rome. What was that all about? Do you know, Pope? I don’t know. He’s doing well, and he wishes you good luck on your next journeys and adventures. Thanks, Pope. I needed that. It’s been a long journey, you know. I didn’t get that soccer ball out here. You know, the one that says that state or country that we do not name. You know that country? Yeah, that name’s on the ball. What should I do with it? Just give it a swift kick and say goodbye to all those bad guys.
